SEASON ONE
1 - (This was the Lost
Pilot, and is identical to the sixth episode)
2 - Lucy thinks Ricky
is losing interest in her, she inserts herself into all his activities, ruining
things like his poker night and Cuban dance.
3 - Lucy is determined
to get on Ricky's show when there is an opening, but she must fit into the size
12 dress... and only has four days to do it; she starves herself and does crazy
exercises with Ethel, in a mad dash to fit into the dress and compete with all
the younger actresses.
4 - Lucy has not paid
her bills in months, and is desperate for money so Ricky won't cut off her
allowance, so she goes on a game show that requires her to pretend to Ricky
that an actor who comes over is actually her lost first husband... except she
mistakes a total homeless guy for the actor.
5 - Lucy is deep in a
murder mystery novel and it goes to her head, she is convinced that Ricky is
trying to rub her out when she overhears him talking on the phone about
something totally unrelated; Ethel's terrible fortunetelling using playing
cards doesn't help at all.
6 - (Same plot as the
Lost Pilot) Lucy is determined to get into Ricky's act, but he says No No No -
when a clown gets injured during a stunt, Lucy dresses like the clown and
infiltrates the show, causing insanity and hysteria.
7 - Lucy blows Ricky's
shot at a broadway review, but attempts to get it back when she finds out that
the producer and her are both obsessed with numerology and horoscopes - then
she has to hold a seance so the producer can reach his "long lost
Tilly," only she doesn't know Fred is ALSO going to impersonate the
spirit.
8 - Lucy is tired of
Ricky trashing the apartment, so she divides it in half - not knowing that a
Look magazine photographer is coming to photograph the crazy division that
ensues.
9 - Ricky brings home
a fur coat he's renting for his act, but Lucy believes it's for her, Ricky has
to scheme to get it back, and Lucy counter-schemes to keep it.
10 - Lucy is highly
jealous of a new dancer at Ricky's club, sneaks into the act with a wig and
veil, and begins to aggressively sabotage the dancer to Ricky's astonishment
and the audience's delight.
11 - Ricky agrees to
do a USO show, but Lucy misunderstands and thinks Ricky is drafted - and Ethel
thinks Fred is going with him; meanwhile, both husbands have a mix-up of their
own and think the wives are pregnant because they are crying all the time and
knitting socks.
12 - Ricky needs an
"Apache Dancer" for his new act, Fred tries to teach Lucy how to
do it and fails; Lucy turns to a Frenchman, who begins immediate amorous
advances on Lucy - and then challenges Ricky to a duel!
13 - Lucy and Ricky do
a benefit show as a husband-and-wife team, but Ricky has written the part so
that Lucy has almost no lines or anything to do; Lucy is having none of it,
decides to improvise during the show, and completely upstages Ricky.
14 - Lucy decides to
make some extra money babysitting, and agrees to take care of a little brat,
not knowing that in fact he is one of twins, and they pull all kinds of
switcheroo tricks on her.
15 - Lucy agrees,
against Ricky's wishes, to pass along a love note for an elderly neighbor to
the local grocer; the grocer misinterprets the note and thinks LUCY wants him,
and Lucy must make herself as unattractive and unappealing as possible (grocer
is 30s film star Edward Everett Horton).
16 - Lucy, after being
turned down by Ricky yet again for a part in his show, decides to fake several
illnesses and show him how much it's affecting her; she becomes a childlike
amnesiac actress and completely stuns Ricky... until he figures it out and
hires a doctor to tell her that she needs a Zorch-ectomy.
17 - Lucy writes a
play set in Cuba, but Ricky refuses the part, so Lucy transfers the whole play
to England, and recasts Fred; hilarity ensues when Ricky decides to do it after
all, but shows up with his still-Cuban script.
18 - After starting
out great friends, singing together at the piano, the Ricardos begin feuding
with the Mertz's, and decide to break their lease after a long insulting match,
and start having Ricky's band practice in the apartment.
19 - Ricky has an
opening for a ballerina, and a burlesuqe act and Lucy insists she is right for
both parts, and she takes ballet lessons, in which she discovers that her body
doesn't always obey when she gives orders; then she learns the famous
vaudeville routine "Slowly I Turned" (also made popular by Abbott and
Costello, and also The Three Stooges).
20 - A teen girl gets
a big crush on Ricky and a teen boy on Lucy; after a lot of attempts to gently
shoo them away, Lucy and Ricky join forces and proceed to act about ten times
their actual age to scare the teens away. (Teen girl is played by Janet Waldo,
voice of Judy Jetson; teen boy is played, incredibly, by Richard Crenna, best
known as Rambo's commanding officer Colonel Troutman).
21 - New neighbors
move in, and Lucy starts snooping; when she overhears them talking of murder
and terrorism, in Russian accents, she doesn't realize they are actors,
rehearsing for a play, and proceeds to warn Ricky and the Mertz's. (Actor
husband is played by Hayden Rorke, best known as Colonel Bellows on I Dream of
Jeannie).
22 - After Fred and
Ethel fight and make up, Lucy and Ricky fight too; except to win Ricky back,
Lucy fakes being hit by a bus, while to win Lucy back Ricky fakes a building
fire.
23 - Ricky starts
growing a mustache, Lucy can't stand it and glues a giant white beard on
herself; then discovers she can't take it off, and there is a movie producer
coming over to interview Ricky for a starring role.
24 - Ricky claims that
the wives gossip far, far more than men, so the two pairs make a wager: whoever
gossips first has to make the other pair breakfast in bed; things take a turn
for the hilarious when Ricky and Fred make up a story and Ricky feeds it to
Lucy while pretending to be sleeping.
25 - After Lucy
complains that she needs an electric dishwasher, Ricky and she make a bet that
the other half can't live rustically, as if it were before 1900; Lucy's attempt
to bake homemade bread (using approximately 50 lbs of dough) results in a
famous manic moment with her stove.
26 - Lucy discovers
her marriage license says she is married to "Ricky Bacardi" and
insists they live apart until the error is fixed, since they are not really
married, AND says they have to get married exactly in the same upstate NY place
as the first time; when they get up there to renew/correct their vows, insanity
ensues (Note: Desi Arnaz's maternal grandfather was one of the three founders
of Bacardi rum).
27 - Lucy isn't
supposed to be helping with the local carnival, so she explains that the
massive amounts of prizes she's been hiding in her closet are actually stolen
because she's a kleptomaniac; this results in the famous scene where a
psychiatrist hypnotizes her and she recounts a hilariously long life of
crime.
28 - Ricky agrees to
do a dance number with "Little Renita," a little girl he used to
dance with in Cuba, but Lucy is unhappy when she sees Renita has grown into a
very attractive woman; Lucy switches places with her at the club, but Ricky
switches songs and Lucy finds herself chased by singing African
tribesmen.
29 - Lucy and Ethel
insist on getting a freezer for the building to save on buying meat, and they
prove the "savings" by each buying a SIDE of beef, not realizing how
huge that is; Lucy, desperate to get rid of it before Ricky finds out, gets
herself locked in the freezer.
30 - The famous
"Vitameatavegimin" episode, where Lucy, in her haste to be a showbiz
star, accepts a role in a commerical where she has to drink a product that
contains alcohol... and the director insists on many, many takes...
31 - Lucy feels
Ricky's publicity needs a boost, and invents an alternate celebrity identity,
the "Maharincess of Franistan" who claims she came all the way around
the globe only to see Ricky's act; of course, she must also put in an
appearance as the Maharincess, which proves quite dangerous indeed.
32 - After Ricky gets
all the answers right on a radio quiz show, she signs them up for the next show
- not knowing that Ricky heard the show being taped; when they get on the show,
her pre-prepared answers to the random questions are beyond hilarious.
33 - After Lucy makes
Ricky late for dinner with his boss - and makes him look bad, holding up his
promotion - Ricky puts her on a schedule; but when the boss is invited over
for another dinner, Lucy, Ethel, and Boss's wife get their revenge. (Boss is
played by Gale Gordon, the character actor who was a foil to Lucy in every one
of her various TV shows)
34 - Ricky is
convinced he is balding, so Lucy begins to investigate balding cures; the one
she puts Ricky through is about 100 steps of pure insanity, designed to get the
baldness idea out of his head forever.
35 - Ricky wants a
raise at work, but when he asks for one he gets fired; Lucy and the Mertzes
then scheme up a fantastic and imaginative way to get him his job back at the
Tropicana.
No comments:
Post a Comment